TRTT

As some of you know, I am an employment lawyer. Typically, I negotiate agreements for executives – employment, severance and separation agreements. At times, I’m retained to assist with drafting a response to a performance improvement plan (PIP) or poor performance reviews. Over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that PIPs and bad performance reviews are really just a notice of a termination. If you are ever given a PIP at your job, start dusting off that resume because at the end of it, you’re getting canned. This realization led me to the conclusion that PIPs are…well…BS. Were I to run my own company, I doubt I’d use a PIP. Or if I did, I would use it as it was originally intended – to help someone improve their performance. If I wanted someone gone, I would just say to them:

“Hi. Thanks for coming in today. You no longer work here. You’ll be getting three weeks of pay to help you through the transition. Best of luck.”

I call it, The Real Terminator Technique ©. If ever there was an organization that has embraced the TRTT, it is the NFL. Last night when I went to bed, the Raiders had a head coach. When I woke up six hours later? The Raiders were shopping for a new coach and Dennis Allen was preparing himself for the unemployment line. Grant it, he’s had a horrible record since he was hired – and this year the Raiders started 0-4. But talk about harsh? They kicked him to the curb over the phone, (after coming in from London).* Ouch.



This on the heels of the announcement that Kyle Orton will be starting for the Bills, and EJ Manuel will be getting very familiar with the bench.** EJ takes over bench riding after having an abysmal QB rating in the first three games and having almost as many INTs as TDs. Not quite fired – but just as good as being put on an indefinite time out.

What I’ve noticed over the past 2 years or so, there are no more PIPs and no more poor performance reviews in the NFL. Back in the day, coaches and QBs were generally allowed to finish out the season. Not so much these days. Fans and owners want to see wins. Big wins. There is no more patience, and frankly it looks like there is no more rebuilding years. People want it all NOW. And if you can’t deliver, the NFL is quick to show you the door.

Hey, them’s the breaks. Hopefully these changes will result in a little more parity for the Bills and the Raiders. I doubt it. But maybe…




*Which is lunacy. But that’s a rant for another day.

**Yet another QB falling into the sophomore slump. I just love it when I’m right.

NFL and the Girls, Part 2

Last month, I wrote about the Ray Rice incident, and the complete and total failure on the part of the Commish and the NFL to appropriately handle the situation. And I hoped that would be the last of the clichéd post from a female football blogger. But alas, much like when you hide dirty laundry under the bed, eventually what appeared to be a perfectly lovely bedroom turns into a den of exploded laundry and you can do nothing but take a stilted breath and deal with the mess; such has become the NFL and its domestic violence “policy.”

In case you missed it, TMZ* released the prequel to the video that got Ray Rice suspended for two games. In short, prior to dragging his then-fiancée out of the elevator, Ray punched her in dead in the face like he was facing an opponent in the boxing ring and she was out cold.** After the video was released, the Ravens immediately released Rice, and Commish Goodell took his butt off his shoulders*** and suspended Rice indefinitely. For me, a series of questions followed:

1. Why was two games of punishment sufficient in the first place?
2. Since Goodell is probably lying, why wasn’t this video enough to get Rice fired more permanently?
3. And, what in the hell did Rice say to whitewash the story that was actually believable? (the official word is that Rice didn’t tell the truth and that’s why they were willing to give him another chance).

None of these questions were answered. Natch. But what we do know is that once the proverbial dirty laundry was aired, the NFL took swift action against Rice. But no so much against a 49ers player, Ray McDonald, who was also arrested on suspicion of domestic violence. 49ers CEO says he is going to let due process take its course. Frankly, the lawyer in me is cool with this, since Rice has been arrested, indicted, and entered into a post-arrest program; whereas McDonald has been arrested on suspicions only.

But this isn’t where it stopped. Much like back in 2009 when Tiger Woods was exposed as a serial cheater after one accusation led to what felt like 100 others, the same has happened in the NFL. First, Rice, then McDonald. Then, Adrian Peterson of the Vikings was indicted on charges of child abuse. And now, cover-ups of Brandon Marshall have resurfaced. Mostly, these charges are reflecting less on the players and mostly on the NFL and its blind eye policy to violence against women (and possibly children); and how that contrasts it’s scorn of drug use. As NFL Memes put it:

I’m not surprised by any of this. I’ve been practicing employment law long enough to realize that when the top revenue generators are in trouble, the CEOs/Chairmen/Senior Executives will do anything and everything in their power to keep that top generator making money. In the case of the NFL it’s the starters that are making that money. I’ve got $10 that says if a practice squad guy is arrested for domestic violence, he’d be out on his ass faster than he could say “not guilty.” Instead of surprise, I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated because the sports leagues are some of the only employers that can so strictly limit their employees’ off-duty conduct. The level of control they exert over these guys’ conduct should extend to punching a domestic partner in the face.

I hate to point out that nearly half of the fans are women (and therefore, half of the people with purchasing power of NFL fan items, and half of the people advertisers want to target) because I don’t think that should be part of the conversation. Men should be just as offended by a man who is professionally trained to hit someone hard enough to give that person a concussion is using that might to express anger/control/frustration/prove a point on a person of lesser strength. To give you a better analogy, if Mike Tyson gets into a bar fight, he’s guilty of assault with a weapon, because he’s a professional boxer. Football players may not be trained to land a jab, but they sure as shit know how to knock a 300 lb linebacker on his ass.****

Now, the NFL has (somewhat patronizingly) hired 3 women and promoted a 4th to develop a domestic violence policy. In this case, I’ll say right result for the wrong reasons. I’m hoping that fake claims don’t start coming out of the woodwork, but if this is what it takes to get a change in culture then so be it.

Just my two cents.

*The NSA of celebrities and sports figures

**Interestingly enough, he probably wouldn’t do that in a real game, since it would result in an injection. See: Wilkerson, Muhammad, in Jets vs. Packers just last week.

***Which is the polite, southern lady way of saying he took his head out of his ass

****Recent lack of tackling in Packers, Giants, Bears, and other games of the past two weeks notwithstanding.

Week 2 Predictions

Before I get into this week's picks, a word about my TwittPick. ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GUT!!!! This is what I get for listening to other people. I knew to pick Baltimore. In a rival game, unless the away team has been in beast mode for several weeks, or the home team is down right terrible, I always pick the home team. Because home field advantage is real. Something like getting yo' ass whooped in front of your kid or a group of friends. It just ain't right.

Anyway, Baltimore won, and I would have been right but for my ridiculous decision to listen to a co-worker and a friend of mine. Note to self: don't ask for their opinions anymore.

Ah well, let's see if I can do any better for this week. Here we go:

Miami v. Buffalo: Both teams are coming off of huge wins last week. But I'm really liking EJ Manuel and Buffalo's defense, so I'll go with Buffalo. To be fair, that's pure speculation.

Detroit v. Carolina: I am calling Detroit, and here's why. Cam Pretty-Boy-Oh-So-Fine Newton was apparently talking mad smack in a press conference earlier this week. He referred to Newton called Ndamukong Suh “Donkey Kong Suh” five times during his press conference.* For those of you keeping track, Suh is a dirty defensive tackle. And near as I can tell, he wears that title as a badge of honor. He gives, ZERO f***s about the fines that the NFL is willing to dole out. In recent memory, he's been tagged for unnecessary roughness, stepping on an opposing player's hand, and an infamous stomp during the Thanksgiving 2011 game against the Packers:



So basically, I hope Cam Newton has some of the best blockers ever to play the game. Otherwise it's going to be a VERY long day for Cam. And Detroit wins without any reference to the Golden Megatron combo.

Atlanta v. Cincinnati: Cincinnati.

New Orleans v. Cleveland: New Orleans. Always bet on Drew Brees.

New England v. Minnesota: New England. Yeah, Minnesota is coming off a huge win...but they're also losing AP to child abuse charges in Texas.** Meanwhile, New England got walloped by Miami last week, and Tom Brady's ego won't let him lose twice.

Arizona v. New York: Arizona could pull this off. New York seems to be mid re-building year, and they've given Eli a whole lot to learn. Plus, we all know that the Giants start show every year.

Dallas v. Tennessee: Tennessee.

Jacksonville v. Washington: Washington.

Seattle v. San Diego: Seattle.

St. Louis v. Tampa Bay: Tampa Bay. Lovie Smith is supposed to be the defense guru, and St. Louis is hurting from losing their QB (again). If you picked up TB's defense in your fantasy league, it might be a good day for you.

Kansas City v. Denver: Denver. I'm not sure bitterness and hate is going to carry KC into another season. But in any event, Peyton is at home.

New York v. Green Bay: Green Bay. The Packers just aren't losing this game at home. #nope.

Houston v. Oakland: Houston.

Chicago v. San Francisco: San Francisco. Cutler makes horrible decisions and SF has a great defense. SF also has a competent QB...so there's that.

Philadelphia v. Indianapolis: Indianapolis. Truthfully? Pure speculation. LeSean McCoy is still Shady McCoy and likely to take off running. But Andrew Luck seems to have some sort of magical ability to win at home.





*FIVE TIMES, B? Really?!!? FIVE???

**side note: What is going on in the NFL? It's only Week 2 and we've had 3 well-known players arrested, plus 2 major positive drug charges. It's going to be The Replacements playing the game pretty soon. Somebody tell Keanu Reaves and Faizon Love to suit up.

Week 17 Predictions

Well, it's nearly the end. There comes a time when all good things must come to an end. And Sunday will be the last games of the regular season. In recent years, the NFL has designed the schedule to end with as much drama as possible...generally scheduling inter-conference games for the last week of the season. Why is this important? Because a lot of these games will decide who gets into the playoffs and which don't. In short, win, or go home. So, who's winning and getting in? Let's get to the gridiron:

Browns v. Steelers: Steelers. Last week, the Steelers needed the Ravens to lose, and the Dolphins to lose, along with the Chargers to lose at least one game. Plus, they need to win their game against the Packers and the Jets to win. And for good measure, they needed it to be at least 65 degrees in Philadelphia. Well, the Steelers got a Christmas miracle last year, because the Dolphins and the Ravens both lost, It was 70 degrees in Philly during the Eagles' slaughter of the Bears, and the Steelers beat the Packers in Green Bay. That said, I can't imagine that they'll waste this miracle. They'll win against the Browns.

Washington v. Giants: Giants. With RGIII sitting out the rest of the season, Washington has little to play for. Meanwhile, the Giants may see their coach retire -- no better way send-off than with a win.

Ravens v. Bengals: Bengals.

Texans v. Titans: Titans.

Jaguars v. Colts: Colts.

Jets v. Dolphins: Dolphins. The Jets and the Dolphins have already met, and the Dolphins dominated in New York. No reason why they can't maintain that domination at home.

Lions v. Vikings: Vikings. I get the sense that the Lions have given up. And the Vikings have been spoilers for a lot of teams. Plus, I just heard that this is the final game in the Metrodome. Yup, the Vikings could pull this off.

Panthers v. Falcons: Panthers. As much as I'd like Tony Gonzalez to go out on a win, I'm not sure that the Panthers will let that happen. This isn't to say that it will be an easy game -- despite the Falcons' abysmal record, the Georgia Dome is still a tough place to play.

Buccaneers v. Saints: Saints.

Bills v. Patriots: Patriots.

Rams v. Seahawks: Seahawks. The Seahawks are at home, after all.

Packers v. Bears: Packers. The winner of this game goes to the playoffs to represent the NFC North. For these two teams, the playoffs start on Sunday.

49ers v. Cardinals: Cardinals. Tough call, but I think the 49ers could win...assuming they're throwing and Vernon Davis is on his game (and all the starters are IN the game, for that matter). But, the Cardinals do have the #1 ranked run defense, after all. Plus, the 49ers are already in the playoffs, and the Cardinals can get in if the Saints lose and they win. The Cardinals have a lot more to play for.

Broncos v. Raiders: Broncos.

Chiefs v. Chargers: Chargers.

Eagles v. Cowboys: Eagles. In another win or go home scenario, this game will decide who wins the NFC East. Buuuut, both teams are playing with backup QBs. The difference is, Nick Foles has been on fire, throwing with laser precision (and no INTs). This isn't Kyle Orton's first time to the rodeo in the league, but the Eagles' defense is pretty likely to stop him cold.

RG Maybe Year III will be better???

Today I got an alert from NFL Mobile -- RGIII is out for the season. In his words, "Coaches decided to shut me down for rest of season. Rex Grossman* will back up Kirk Cousins as quarterback." Talk about a bad day.

Remember when I was talking about the Sophomore Slump? Well, it would appear that Mr. Griffin is suffering from the mother of all sophomore slumps, wouldn't it?

There are people who would say the downward spiral all began during last season's playoffs, when he busted his knee, taking him out for the rest of the playoffs and dashing the hopes of Washington fans everywhere. Others would blame the problems on the coaches, and medical staff allowing him to come back too soon. Possibly it's just a curse for the horrible team name that came under fire early this year. We may never really know what caused it, but I would hazard a guess that the sophomore slump is a solid part of the problem.

But here's my question...no one has confirmed that this demotion isn't at least partially due to Washington's abysmal 3-10 record and RGIII's less-than-amazing play. The official reason is that he is being benched for his health. Does anyone else find it suspicious that he's being benched for his health at the END of the season as opposed to the BEGINNING? Why would a player need to be benched after he's spent the last 14 weeks cutting and running on a tender knee? Isn't that something that would need to be done -- the resting and the easing into routine, that is -- early on in the recovery process?

My next question is, will RGIII be able to recover from being benched? Let's remember what happened with Josh Freeman. Suddenly benched under suspicious circumstances, no official comment, and then BOOM traded to a different team. Ooooh wait, there's also Alex Smith. So, then again, perhaps RGIII will find himself in the playoffs with a new team. Bitterness and hate being the basis of that winning streak.

Washington definitely won't be making a repeat appearance in the post-season. But maybe this will prove an interesting off season.




*Yes, that Rex. Sexy Rexy rides again!

Bad Break-ups

Okay really. What's really going on with Tampa Bay? If ever there was a time I wanted to know the back story it's now. In case you haven't heard, last week, Josh Freeman was released from Tampa Bay. But it resembled more of a college break-up than a simple employment termination.

The Buccaneers apparently decided that they needed to see other people last season. And instead of being a man about it, they brought in the new girlfriend (rookie Mike Glennon) to parade around as their 3rd round draft pick. Then, in protest, scorned woman Josh refused to show up for the team picture.* They tried a "break" early into the season, with Tampa Bay taking the new girlfriend to the big dance. But instead of giving Mike his own date, he got Josh's spot in the front seat. Josh was forced to sit in the suite (aka, take his own car) to the dance. In the end, in a very public Kim Kardashian style break up, the two have ended their relationship. Josh has been released and has signed with the Minnesota Vikings.

Speaking of the Vikings, they may be having their own drama. Sure, they say that Ponder is injured and therefore can't play -- but that seems like a nicer way to break up and help Ponder save face. Meanwhile, Minnesota has a backup in Matt Cassel** but signed Josh Freeman anyway. I sense some drama coming in the very near future.

All of this over one QB...who, if memory serves, actually brought Tampa Bay out of the doldrums of mediocrity and into the category of better-than-average.

In any event, all of this football drama is but a few steps (and player retirements) from a reality show on MTV. And I? Cannot wait!!! (Hashtag the new T.O. and Ochocinco I hope).



*This seems to be as big of a deal as changing your Facebook status to "it's complicated"

**See: Epically Overrated 1st Round Draft Picks