Pigskin Polygamists

In case you haven't heard, Johnny Football (or, as he's more fondly known in my house, Johnny Benched-Ass) was drafted by the Cleveland Browns. And he's already making waves. First, by bringing his ridiculous celebration to the Rock & Roll city*:

But also by getting fined by the NFL for flipping off the Redskins bench. (hehehehehehehe). Anyway, despite the off-field shenanigans, he's been getting schooled on the field. And learning (the hard way) that getting pummeled by grown-ass men is not the same as beating college kids at a bowl game.

So, for now, Browns coach Mike Pettine is going with QB Hoyer as the starter for week one. But, he doesn't seem to want to commit. He's already saying that the Browns may be following the doomed path of switching to a 2-QB system. Which begs the question: has that system EVER worked? I mean seriously, is Pettine new to the game of football? Polygamy has no place in the NFL.

In the last few years, there have been a couple teams that have tried this ill-fated system. The Eagles, the 49ers, the Jets, and now the Browns.

First, the Eagles started with Michael Vick and Nick Foles. Unable to make a decision, they both ended up alternating. That is, until the chips were down and Kelly had to decide which QB would lead the team. Ultimately, all the Eagles ended up with were broken dreams and lost games. Then, there was the dirty play by San Francisco to move from Alex Smith to Kap. Albeit a slightly different situation -- Smith was hurt in a game and Kap was sent in. But apparently the coaching staff liked Kap's moves, because they slowly changed to a 2-QB system on Smith's return. Which was a polite way of saying Smith was being down-sized. (It didn't turn out all bad for everyone. Seems like KC should be thanking their lucky stars for the 49ers slap in the face to Alex Smith, because bitterness and hate drove Alex Smith to lead the Chiefs to a great playoff run last year.) Then, the Jets, with Mark Sanchez and Tebow. And again, the Jets with Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith. Ok....maybe the Jets didn't have a 2-QB system, so much as a can't break up with their should be ex, system.

Now, the Browns are going to join the cult of Pigskin Polygamists. I hope they don't follow in the slow, plodding footsteps of other teams with this ill-conceived notion. But, on the other hand, it'll be nice to see Johnny "Please Wipe That Dumb Smirk Off Your Face" Football get knocked down a peg. Where is Kevin Costner when you need him?!**



*word not the street is he got the idea from Drake -- he's sprinkling seasoning on the other team.


**If you missed this reference, go rent Draft Day. Immediately.