Who's your first round pick?

In the quest for the best. fantasy team. EVAHHHHHH. There is a question that every fantasy team manager must ask themselves: do I draft a QB or a RB first?

Both positions are pretty solid choices. Both quarterbacks and running backs are solid points-horses. Unless you happen to draft Tim Tebow or Johnny Manziel, your QB is going to be playing every game and is going to get you points either in yardage or scoring plays all game. On the other hand, if you pick a superstar running back such as Eddie Lacy, Adrian Peterson, or Arian Foster you've got a good shot of a player working hard to help you win. So who do you go with?

On the quarterback side, there are a limited number of great QBs in the league. There are those that are suffering from the sophomore slump (you may remember my post about Cam and RGIII last year) Plus, not every QB is going to throw a bomb down the field every single game like Aaron Rodgers and Peyton Manning. Some may have a receiver who couldn't catch a fish in a barrel, let alone a football hurtling down the field. If that's the case, they're handing it off to the running back. Which means a lot fewer yards and for you, fewer points. So it may behoove you to grab the QB you want early. But, depending on how many teams are in your league, and the number of QBs you truly like, perhaps you've got enough QBs to spare so you can wait until another round to get the guy you want.

On the side of the running back, just like with QBs, there's a limited number. I'd even suggest that the number of running backs who are likely to score big for you are even less than QBs. The beauty about running backs is they have the potential to grab a ton of yardage, as well as make a way into the end zone. Furthermore, the RB doesn't have to rely on another person to grab that yardage*....unlike a QB who generally needs a receiver to catch the ball.**

So, if it's my team, I'm probably choosing the RB in my first round, and the QB in the second. But your absolute best bet is to keep track of who has been picked and who is left, and make a game time decision as your turn comes. You've got to read what everyone else is doing and pay attention, so you can make the best pick for your team.

Good luck and happy drafting!




*blockers notwithstanding

**Yes, I know. Michael Vick, RGIII, Colin Kaepernick, blah blah blah.

Pigskin Polygamists

In case you haven't heard, Johnny Football (or, as he's more fondly known in my house, Johnny Benched-Ass) was drafted by the Cleveland Browns. And he's already making waves. First, by bringing his ridiculous celebration to the Rock & Roll city*:

But also by getting fined by the NFL for flipping off the Redskins bench. (hehehehehehehe). Anyway, despite the off-field shenanigans, he's been getting schooled on the field. And learning (the hard way) that getting pummeled by grown-ass men is not the same as beating college kids at a bowl game.

So, for now, Browns coach Mike Pettine is going with QB Hoyer as the starter for week one. But, he doesn't seem to want to commit. He's already saying that the Browns may be following the doomed path of switching to a 2-QB system. Which begs the question: has that system EVER worked? I mean seriously, is Pettine new to the game of football? Polygamy has no place in the NFL.

In the last few years, there have been a couple teams that have tried this ill-fated system. The Eagles, the 49ers, the Jets, and now the Browns.

First, the Eagles started with Michael Vick and Nick Foles. Unable to make a decision, they both ended up alternating. That is, until the chips were down and Kelly had to decide which QB would lead the team. Ultimately, all the Eagles ended up with were broken dreams and lost games. Then, there was the dirty play by San Francisco to move from Alex Smith to Kap. Albeit a slightly different situation -- Smith was hurt in a game and Kap was sent in. But apparently the coaching staff liked Kap's moves, because they slowly changed to a 2-QB system on Smith's return. Which was a polite way of saying Smith was being down-sized. (It didn't turn out all bad for everyone. Seems like KC should be thanking their lucky stars for the 49ers slap in the face to Alex Smith, because bitterness and hate drove Alex Smith to lead the Chiefs to a great playoff run last year.) Then, the Jets, with Mark Sanchez and Tebow. And again, the Jets with Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith. Ok....maybe the Jets didn't have a 2-QB system, so much as a can't break up with their should be ex, system.

Now, the Browns are going to join the cult of Pigskin Polygamists. I hope they don't follow in the slow, plodding footsteps of other teams with this ill-conceived notion. But, on the other hand, it'll be nice to see Johnny "Please Wipe That Dumb Smirk Off Your Face" Football get knocked down a peg. Where is Kevin Costner when you need him?!**



*word not the street is he got the idea from Drake -- he's sprinkling seasoning on the other team.


**If you missed this reference, go rent Draft Day. Immediately.

NFL and the Girls

Around this time last year, I was ranting writing about how women are largely ignored by the NFL. Statistics I’ve seen show that women make up 45% of football fans, but are nevertheless generally ignored – other than as arm candy for the big manly men who have to dumb the game down for our pretty little heads. Well, evidently, the NFL was listening to the millions of girly fans out there, because last year they began a huge marketing push to try to get the girls. Starting with holding an event right before New York’s Fashion Week (including models of all ages and sizes, which is more than I can say for most designers*) and also selling gear other than the standard thong + logo shenanigans.** AND the commercial they ran to advertise the gear was amazing (check it out here).

So, I wonder if everyone in the NFL’s PR and Marketing department has signed the petition to have Goodell fired. In case you missed it, Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens, was involved in a little bit of a kerfuffle. And by that, I mean he was caught on video dragging his unconscious girlfriend out of an elevator – after he allegedly knocked her out. So what does this have to do with Goodell and the NFL as a whole? Well, because of the punishment Rice received from the NFL. He got a suspension. Good. That’s what happens to players who break the law. And his suspension was? Shorter than the guy who was caught with marijuana in his system. Shorter than the coaches and players involved in Bounty-Gate. Shorter than a player who punched another player during a game. Rice was suspended for a WHOPPING TWO GAMES!!! Say what?!?!

A lot of women are crying foul. Saying that the NFL is basically showing women everywhere that domestic violence isn’t really a big deal. That as long as the player is producing, you’d better just duck and dodge this grown man’s swinging arms. I’m not saying I disagree with these women, but that discussion has been had more eloquently elsewhere on the interwebs. But, what I’m more curious about is how this effects the greater scheme of things. First, I have heard about zero people (men or women) saying that they won’t watch the game anymore.*** (To be fair, it’d be difficult to be angry if the Ravens aren’t your team. How much control does the, say, Raiders organization have over what happens to a Ravens’ player?). Second, Goodell has a history of some messed up punishments. Why aren’t there rules or guidelines for how long suspensions should be? How can anyone be certain that the punishments being handed out fit the actual crime committed?

For me, I’ve seen my favorite organization kick a player off the team for accusations of misconduct. So, it’ll be difficult for me to justify boycotting the entire league over Goodell’s apparent mismanagement. If I was a Ravens fan, I’d probably be switching my team colors in a matter of seconds. The good news is that the NFL is apparently re-evaluating its stance on domestic violence: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11357684/nfl-planning-toughen-standards-cases-domestic-violence-according-source. Hopefully we see changes asaptually.

So, what say you? Will you continue to watch or are you just sitting on ice until hockey season? (HA! See what I did there?)



*looking at you Karl Lagerfeld

**because my lady bits need to show some team pride, too.

***At least I've not heard of anyone personally. There was an article recently about Maine's governor, however: http://nesn.com/2014/08/maine-governor-threatens-nfl-boycott-over-ray-rice-suspension/

Tutorial: What's a Tight End?

Okay, other than what made Jen Selter "famous", a tight end is an increasingly important position in the game.

To paraphrase the NFL's definition of a TE: a tight end is both an eligible receiver and a blocker. “This position combines the attributes of receivers and lineman and will block during a running play or run a route during a passing play.” Tip: sometimes referred to as a Slot Receiver.

So basically, this is a player who is nimble enough to bob and weave, but big enough to knock a defensive player on his keister. Check and check.

How can you tell if a player is a tight end or a receiver? Well, he’s generally a tall and strong guy who you may also see running a route. They share numbers with wide receivers, so you’ll look for numbers beginning with 1, 4, or 8. It's the guy on the field that my tall homegirls will want to reserve for themselves, but only if they're the sort of chick that likes to get tossed around before making whoopee. On the field, he's the guy that's going to be the lover (catching the beloved pigskin) and the fighter (knocking a defensive lineman on his ass when he's in protection mode).

Notable tight ends for this year (in no particular order):
Jimmy Graham*
Vernon Davis
Rob Gronkowski
Julius Thomas

Tight ends are bound to be a hot position this year, with Tony Gonzalez** setting the standard for what a TE should be doing over his illustrious career; and Julius Thomas and Rob Gronkowski just going HAM last year. Choose wisely in your fantasy leagues this year...you never know when this hybrid position is going to join the elite points-horses we all know and love.






*Yes, officially. There was a whole thing. Check the explanation here.

**Or as I like to call him, Sex on a Stick.

Back on the Field

I grab the remote and turn to my favorite station. I find myself getting excited just thinking about what’s coming. The muscular sweaty guys. The action on the screen. Yelling directions out: “Go left!” “Go right!” “Now drive it in!!!” The expletives you can hear coming from my living room. Yes…it’s just about that time…FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!*

I love summer just as much as the next gal, but football only comes for 16 weeks, so you gotta be pumped even though it signifies the end of long days and warm weather. That is, if you live in a cold weather state. If you don’t, well, your allegiance to football probably isn’t as strong. But that’s okay. (Yes, I know the Saints, 49ers and Cowboys have some serious fandom. I said *probably* not as strong, okay?). And first person to point out the Atlanta Falcons gets mollywopped. I’ve never seen such fairweather fans!

Anyway, I know it’s pre-season, and it’s hard to care. Summer is still here and it’s hard to focus. But, we can use these weeks to learn a little bit more about the game, and see what’s cooking with the rookies that were drafted just a few months ago. I have a friend who loves pre-season. He says that’s when people are playing for their jobs and are going to go the hardest. I can respect that view. But your girl’s gotta get her outdoor-life on before the Polar Vortex makes a return. So, I can’t promise I’ll be watching every game. The games I do watch, I’ll be looking to learn more about zone defenses and the difference between a tight end and a wide receiver. (Hey, if Jimmy Graham needed to appeal the title, then maybe it’s more important than we think.) I may also try to figure out just why Johnny “Football” Manziel was so thirsty on Draft Day.**

Stay tuned -- it's about time we get back to the gridiron.

*What the deuce did you think I was talking about? Perverts.

**Not really. I’m already tired of that guy and think he deserves a well-placed punch in the face. Amirite?