Thanksgiving Day

I was hoping to spend today basking in the joy of Thanksgiving leftovers and the Packers taking first in the NFC North. Guess who isn't basking? On this, the 75th Thanksgiving Day game of the Packers and Lions, the Packers fell 40-10 in Detroit. Grant it, we have an injury list that looks more like our first string roster than our starting roster, but as James Jones said yesterday, that's really no excuse. Everyone has a job to do...ahem...rant over.

I am fortunate enough that in my family, the older generation still does all of the cooking on holidays, so no one expects me to bust a move in the kitchen just because I'm a girl. Giving me plenty of opportunity to slip away and watch the game. (Grant it, this year there was really no need). I have another friend who married into one of those twilight zone families where it's actually all the men who do the cooking (and she doesn't even take advantage of it by watching football! What?!). Now, if you are a girl, and you are not so fortunate, here are my top tips for getting out of the kitchen and onto the couch where you belong.

1. Offer to bring something. Make or purchase it the night before. Drop it off in the kitchen and then proceed to the couch.

2. Claim butterfingers. Tell the story of how you once were helping out during a family barbecue. You were in charge of slicing up the brisket. Somehow -- something you have yet to figure out after all these years -- the knife slipped and you ended up slicing open your [hand, finger, forearm] and bleeding all over the brisket. You'd hate to have history repeat itself, so you'd better stay out of the kitchen. Showing a gnarly scar would be an excellent way to make the story come alive. I suggest pointing to the scar you gave yourself when pulling a frozen pizza out of the oven.

3. Admit that you can't cook. Tell everyone that your culinary skills so bad that everyone would have to spit it out in a napkin and that would just be a waste of food. Although in this instance, you may not want to say "culinary." Only people with some modicum of culinary skills would call them culinary skills.

4. Try the old "oh, y'all look like you've got this down to a rhythm! I am just going to get out of your way!" trick. It's a risky move...someone may collar you right as you try to make the getaway and you're stuck with a potato masher, taking your frustrations out on some helpless potato and missing David Akers miss a field goal after being iced for the first time in a decade. But if you're sly like the jungle cat, this approach just may work.

5. Arrive to dinner very very late. You know, right before it's time to set the table. And then, graciously offer to set the table because you were so late (during halftime, natch).

Thanksgiving may be over, but remember these tips. They are sure to come in handy for holidays to come!

Week 12 Picks

It's time to start thinking about the playoffs. Can you believe that? It's week 12 already! I guess it's to be expected, Thanksgiving and the winter holidays are right around the corner. It's been a great season, filled with a lot of drama. And the fact that my picks could be blown up on any given Sunday just shows us that there really is parity. Love it. But enough chit chat. Let's get to the picks.

Buccaneers v. Lions: Lions.

Vikings v. Packers: Packers. Both these teams are struggling in the quarterback position. While the Vikings' season may be unsalvageable* the Packers are still in the hunt for a wild card spot. Not to mention, they way the Lions, Packers, and Bears** have been jostling for first place, if the football gods are smiling the boys in green and gold could actually take first place. Go Pack Go!! ****Update: Special Correspondent Jillian says that the Packers may be in trouble because the Vikings "don't play kind". I hope she's wrong!

Jaguars v. Texans: Oh Texans. What happened to you? This should be a sure thing, but given your past history...well...

Chargers v. Chiefs: Chiefs. So, the final undefeated team has fallen. But I say they win this game.

Panthers v. Dolphins: Panthers. Okay, where did these Panthers come from? Looks like Cam Newton put his Superman shirt back on because they have been rolling. They just may be playoffs bound!

Steelers v. Browns: A bitter rivalry game. I am going to go with the Browns.

Bears v. Rams: With much trepidation and bitterness, I choose the Bears.

Jets v. Ravens: Jets.

Titans v. Raiders: Titans.

Colts v. Cardinals: Colts.

Cowboys v. Giants: Giants. This is a HUGE game. If the Giants win, they will share the same record as the Cowboys (currently in first place in the NFC East). Tons of drama. If your game isn't on at noon, watch this one!

Broncos v. Patriots: Broncos.

49ers v. Washington: I really want Washington to win; but it's probably going to be the 49ers.



*and by that I mean, they have a snowball's chance in hell of making the playoffs

**oh my! (cheesy pun alert)

Week 11 - quick picks!

I am soon to be on a plane, so these are just picks, nothing more and nothing less. Shout out to my good friend Michelle who was just married...one of the few events worthy of missing football. :)

And now, for Week 11:

Packers

Jets

Ravens

Bengals

Raiders: ***update: the zippy QB for the Raiders is out for this game. Taking the Texans may be a better bet. ***

Cardinals

Lions

Buccaneers (or really, the Falcons' opponent)

Chargers

Saints (who dat?!)

Seahawks

Broncos (THIS, should be a good game. Even if they did bump my Packers to put it at night. The Chiefs bump the Pack and the Giants! Who would have guessed?!)

Panthers (against Tom Brady. Really, pheebee?! Yes really. I'm feeling bold. And Cam Newton is hot.)

Week 10 Predictions

Darn the Vikings! First, they screwed my picks, and second, they are trying to make an already too-interesting NFC North more interesting. Boo hiss boo to that.

My week 10 picks are late, blame it on the plague that my colleague visited on my office. I've been operating under a haze of NyQuil for four days. At any rate, I am dedicated to y'all, readers. So, I am writing this, even S I'm supposed to be paying attention to pastor's sermon. These picks are either going to be blessed, or cursed. Take that as you will....

Eagles v. Packers: Packers. (Please Lord, let it be the Packers).

Jaguars v. Titans: Titans.

Bills v. Steelers: Bills. Why not? They may be a great upset.

Raiders v. Giants: Giants are home, and are hitting that part of the season where they decide to start winning. Let's see if they finally get it together.

Rams v. Colts: Colts.

Seahawks v. Falcons: Seahawks. You already know what I think about the Seahawks on the road...but the Falcons are just some pitiful birdies this year. ***Update*** I've just seen on CBS NFL Today that the Falcons have won 4 straight against the Seahawks. I am hereby changing my pick. Let's go Falcons!

Bengals v. Ravens: Bengals.

Lions v. Bears: Lions. (Sending up a silent prayer for the Lions.)

Panthers v. 49ers: 49ers.

Texans v. Cardinals: Texans.

Broncos v. Chargers: Broncos.

Cowboys v. Saints: Saints. When in doubt, go with Drew Brees.

Dolphins v. Buccaneers: How does a girl choose? Talk about teams that are a mess. I m going with Buccaneers, they have been dealing with their shenanigans longer, whereas the Dolphins' turmoil is recent.

Injured reserve

Is it just me, or is every team suffering crazy injuries this year? The Packers first string seems to be injured. 3 different teams have been missing their QB for at least 2 games (not including those that told their first-string guy to have a damn seat*). The Giants are missing their entire running core. And that's only looking on the offensive side of the ball. The injuries don't seem to discriminate. From hamstring injuries to concussions to major breaks, it just seems like a lot this year. Not only is it a lot of injuries, but it's injuries to big names that we all know: Jay Cutler, Aaron Rodgers, Clay Mathews, Julio Jones, David Flip Wilson, Dez Bryant, Reggie Wayne...this list just goes on and on.

So what gives? My first question is, are they not stretching anymore? The sheer number of non-serious hamstring injuries is mind boggling. Seriously, these guys need to take a page from the cheerleaders and never take the field without first doing a scissors stretch or two.**

My next question is, for many of these injuries -- is this an unintended consequence of the new tackling rule? The new rules state that players cannot hit high, carrying hefty fines and penalties for helmet-to-helmet hits. The rule was designed in the wake of a huge lawsuit against the NFL for damages suffered as a result of concussions. And sure, making helmet-to-helmet hits expensive (both to the team in the game and the player's individual pocketbooks) limits the number of high hits. But it also increases the number of low hits. Resulting in what? Helmets hitting other breakable areas of the body.

It's a new rule, so time will tell. But for now, I wonder if we didn't trade head injuries for knee and leg injuries.

*Looking at you Texans!

**OR, is "hamstring" injury to athletes what "exhaustion" is to Hollywood celebrities?

Week 9 Predictions

Well, my winning streak is over, thanks to the Miami Dolphins. Sure, I was hoping they'd win -- but not at the expense of my picks. Darn safety in OT.

Anyway, to mix things up a bit, I've got a challenger to my picks. May I introduce to you Jillian, the 3-1/2 year old football monster and originator of #FootballwithJillian.

She's an avid Packers fan, and apparently has a bone to pick with some of my picks. So, who am I to deny a correspondent her right to dissent? So, without much further ado, my picks vs. a 3-1/2 year old's picks*.


Bengals v. Dolphins: As you saw on Twitter, I (wrongly) chose the Bengals to win this game. Lady Jillian had a different response. Practicing for when she takes over for Deion "Showtime" Sanders on NFL Network, she informed us that *she* would win that game. Well played, Jillian. Well played.

Falcons v. Panthers: Panthers. The Falcons have been a huge disappointment all season. Usually, they save the choking for the post-season. Looks like this season they are starting early (and dashing any hopes sexy sexy Tony Gonzalez may have had for a ring. On the upside, sexy sexy Cam Newton will get another win).

Vikings v. Cowboys: Jillian says the guys in the white hats (Cowboys) will win because they're gonna get the ball. Well, when she's right, she's right. Cowboys are my pick as well.

Saints v. Jets: Who dat?! That's the Saints smacking the Jets around a bit. They won't get rolled over, but the Jets won't win either. As my Ma would say...quiet is kept but the Saints are one of the top teams in the league. Who says the coaching staff isn't important?**

Titans v. Rams: Titans. In the epic battle of mediocre teams, Titans win.

Chiefs v. Bills: Chiefs. Chalk up another win for bitter and hate. The last undefeated team will probably be undefeated for another week!

Chargers v. Washington: Washington. The most overrated QB in football takes on the most humble QB in football -- and loses. The good guys with the terrible name will take this one at home.

Eagles v. Raiders: Raiders. I learned my lesson with the Eagles. Between having a general habit of biting the big one AND playing the same game of QB Roulette as the Vikings, the Eagles just won't cut it. Correspondent Jillian disagrees, picking the Eagles (rather emphatically, with an "oooh!" as only a 3-1/2 year old can exclaim).

Buccaneers v. Seahawks. Seahawks. When they're home, they're good. Someday they'll need to learn how to play without the 12th man. But Sunday isn't that day.

Ravens v. Browns: Jillian says the Browns will win because their uniforms have black on it. To which her mother (AKA Martha Stewart MacGyver) pointed out that the Ravens also had black on their uniforms. Jillian, with what I can only imagine was a look of pure pity for her mother's ridiculousness, said "yes, but these guys have it there. I told you." If you ask me, Jillian's picks have been influenced by her father, an avid Browns fan. On behalf of a couple other friends I have, I hope she's right. But I think the aging Ravens beat the still-green Browns in this one.

Steelers v. Patriots: On this, Jillian and I can agree. The Patriots will win. And no further comment is necessary.

Colts v. Texans: Colts.

Bears v. Packers: Packers. I would have picked them even if the Bears weren't missing their quarterback. Jillian, however, notes that the Packers are her favorite and her best buddies. Good enough for me. GO PACK GO!!!



*Is it wrong that I kinda want to crush her?

**For more on this reference, google "Bounty-Gate"