NFL and the Girls

Around this time last year, I was ranting writing about how women are largely ignored by the NFL. Statistics I’ve seen show that women make up 45% of football fans, but are nevertheless generally ignored – other than as arm candy for the big manly men who have to dumb the game down for our pretty little heads. Well, evidently, the NFL was listening to the millions of girly fans out there, because last year they began a huge marketing push to try to get the girls. Starting with holding an event right before New York’s Fashion Week (including models of all ages and sizes, which is more than I can say for most designers*) and also selling gear other than the standard thong + logo shenanigans.** AND the commercial they ran to advertise the gear was amazing (check it out here).

So, I wonder if everyone in the NFL’s PR and Marketing department has signed the petition to have Goodell fired. In case you missed it, Ray Rice, running back for the Baltimore Ravens, was involved in a little bit of a kerfuffle. And by that, I mean he was caught on video dragging his unconscious girlfriend out of an elevator – after he allegedly knocked her out. So what does this have to do with Goodell and the NFL as a whole? Well, because of the punishment Rice received from the NFL. He got a suspension. Good. That’s what happens to players who break the law. And his suspension was? Shorter than the guy who was caught with marijuana in his system. Shorter than the coaches and players involved in Bounty-Gate. Shorter than a player who punched another player during a game. Rice was suspended for a WHOPPING TWO GAMES!!! Say what?!?!

A lot of women are crying foul. Saying that the NFL is basically showing women everywhere that domestic violence isn’t really a big deal. That as long as the player is producing, you’d better just duck and dodge this grown man’s swinging arms. I’m not saying I disagree with these women, but that discussion has been had more eloquently elsewhere on the interwebs. But, what I’m more curious about is how this effects the greater scheme of things. First, I have heard about zero people (men or women) saying that they won’t watch the game anymore.*** (To be fair, it’d be difficult to be angry if the Ravens aren’t your team. How much control does the, say, Raiders organization have over what happens to a Ravens’ player?). Second, Goodell has a history of some messed up punishments. Why aren’t there rules or guidelines for how long suspensions should be? How can anyone be certain that the punishments being handed out fit the actual crime committed?

For me, I’ve seen my favorite organization kick a player off the team for accusations of misconduct. So, it’ll be difficult for me to justify boycotting the entire league over Goodell’s apparent mismanagement. If I was a Ravens fan, I’d probably be switching my team colors in a matter of seconds. The good news is that the NFL is apparently re-evaluating its stance on domestic violence: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11357684/nfl-planning-toughen-standards-cases-domestic-violence-according-source. Hopefully we see changes asaptually.

So, what say you? Will you continue to watch or are you just sitting on ice until hockey season? (HA! See what I did there?)



*looking at you Karl Lagerfeld

**because my lady bits need to show some team pride, too.

***At least I've not heard of anyone personally. There was an article recently about Maine's governor, however: http://nesn.com/2014/08/maine-governor-threatens-nfl-boycott-over-ray-rice-suspension/

Tutorial: What's a Tight End?

Okay, other than what made Jen Selter "famous", a tight end is an increasingly important position in the game.

To paraphrase the NFL's definition of a TE: a tight end is both an eligible receiver and a blocker. “This position combines the attributes of receivers and lineman and will block during a running play or run a route during a passing play.” Tip: sometimes referred to as a Slot Receiver.

So basically, this is a player who is nimble enough to bob and weave, but big enough to knock a defensive player on his keister. Check and check.

How can you tell if a player is a tight end or a receiver? Well, he’s generally a tall and strong guy who you may also see running a route. They share numbers with wide receivers, so you’ll look for numbers beginning with 1, 4, or 8. It's the guy on the field that my tall homegirls will want to reserve for themselves, but only if they're the sort of chick that likes to get tossed around before making whoopee. On the field, he's the guy that's going to be the lover (catching the beloved pigskin) and the fighter (knocking a defensive lineman on his ass when he's in protection mode).

Notable tight ends for this year (in no particular order):
Jimmy Graham*
Vernon Davis
Rob Gronkowski
Julius Thomas

Tight ends are bound to be a hot position this year, with Tony Gonzalez** setting the standard for what a TE should be doing over his illustrious career; and Julius Thomas and Rob Gronkowski just going HAM last year. Choose wisely in your fantasy leagues this year...you never know when this hybrid position is going to join the elite points-horses we all know and love.






*Yes, officially. There was a whole thing. Check the explanation here.

**Or as I like to call him, Sex on a Stick.

Back on the Field

I grab the remote and turn to my favorite station. I find myself getting excited just thinking about what’s coming. The muscular sweaty guys. The action on the screen. Yelling directions out: “Go left!” “Go right!” “Now drive it in!!!” The expletives you can hear coming from my living room. Yes…it’s just about that time…FOR SOME FOOTBALL!!!!*

I love summer just as much as the next gal, but football only comes for 16 weeks, so you gotta be pumped even though it signifies the end of long days and warm weather. That is, if you live in a cold weather state. If you don’t, well, your allegiance to football probably isn’t as strong. But that’s okay. (Yes, I know the Saints, 49ers and Cowboys have some serious fandom. I said *probably* not as strong, okay?). And first person to point out the Atlanta Falcons gets mollywopped. I’ve never seen such fairweather fans!

Anyway, I know it’s pre-season, and it’s hard to care. Summer is still here and it’s hard to focus. But, we can use these weeks to learn a little bit more about the game, and see what’s cooking with the rookies that were drafted just a few months ago. I have a friend who loves pre-season. He says that’s when people are playing for their jobs and are going to go the hardest. I can respect that view. But your girl’s gotta get her outdoor-life on before the Polar Vortex makes a return. So, I can’t promise I’ll be watching every game. The games I do watch, I’ll be looking to learn more about zone defenses and the difference between a tight end and a wide receiver. (Hey, if Jimmy Graham needed to appeal the title, then maybe it’s more important than we think.) I may also try to figure out just why Johnny “Football” Manziel was so thirsty on Draft Day.**

Stay tuned -- it's about time we get back to the gridiron.

*What the deuce did you think I was talking about? Perverts.

**Not really. I’m already tired of that guy and think he deserves a well-placed punch in the face. Amirite?

Super Bowl!!!!!

It's that bittersweet time of year. All of the hard work of the season and the post-season have led to this. The big game. The Super Bowl. So awesome to see the best of the best (or the luckiest of the luckiest) take each other on. On the downside ---- what are we going to do after church on Sundays now?!?!

In any event, if you'd asked me last year whether I thought the Seahawks were going to make it to the Super Bowl, I would have answered with an emphatic HELL NAW!!!! Mostly because I didn't believe that Seattle could win enough games on the road. They're all but unbeatable at home with the legendary 12th man. But when they didn't have fanatics screaming at the top of their lungs, well....[trails off]. But this year, the Seahawks seem to have won just enough games to shut their critics up. Or quiet them at least.

Meanwhile, the Broncos have been putting on a Broncomania show for the entire season. Peyton to, well, pretty much anyone in orange and blue for touchdowns. The kicker, defense, and special teams have all been clicking as well. But, let's be real. Peyton has had his moments of questionable behavior leading to some losses that should have been wins.

So who is going to win today? In my opinion, the Broncos. I just haven't bought in to the Seahawks when they are on the road. And MetLife Stadium isn't going to come with a 12th man. Plus, I don't know much about the Seahawks' secondary (outside of Richard Sherman*). I doubt they have enough manpower to completely shut down all of Peyton's weapons.

Plus, Madden picked the Broncos to win. And they've been right almost every year...who am I to disagree?!






*Side note? Am I the only one who is wondering why there was so much controversy surrounding his comments after the NFC Championship? Really?! Why was it worth talking about after 5 minutes had passed?

Divisional Playoffs Predictions

I admit it. I was ALLLL wrong last week. But, I'm going to forge ahead with picks anyway. Plus, I was totally right yesterday! (I picked the Seahawks and the Patriots -- but they were obvious picks).

Okay, for today, I pick Carolina -- they beat the 49ers once, and they have a defensive player that is 4th in the league with 15 sacks on the season. On the AFC side, I am riding with the Broncos. The Broncos are at home, and Rivers just isn't leading the Bolts anywhere that involves getting past the Broncos.

We'll see if today goes any better than last week. Let's get to the gridiron!

Playoff Day 2!

Ok, I sort of lost track of time. But, I will slide into the door here:

Chargers vs. Bengals: Bengals.

San Francisco vs. Green Bay: Green Bay, baby!


Turns out, I was wrong about New Orleans. But the upside is, with the New Orleans win, that means my boys in Green Bay will be headed to Carolina instead of Seattle if we win. So, I'm good with being wrong on that one!

Playoffs!

KC vs. Indy and New Orleans v. Philly. Who do I pick?

Kansas City has already lost to Indianapolis, but I hope that the bitterness and hate pulls then through on this game. New Orleans has lost every road playoff game of the last five...given that they are travelling to the cold north, I expect this game will be #6.