Pick a Side and Stay There!

Obviously, football is more than just the NFL. It's college and high school, too. Which is why I get so confused when people say that they used to root for one team, but then they started rooting for the team's mortal enemy. We learn from very early on that when you are associated with one team, you just cannot switch sides. So, if you are born a Packers fan, you cannot switch to a Vikings fan; if you're a Titans fan, you cannot suddenly root for the Colts; and if you're a Browns fan, you cannot be a Steelers fan. It's just how the world works. But, did you know that if you're a Browns fan, rules dictate that you hate the Ravens as well? True story!

The NFL will form expansion teams every now and again. Meaning, if the market demands it, the NFL will form a new team to meet that demand. Some teams that started as expansion teams are the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Carolina Panthers, the Tennessee Titans, and the Baltimore Ravens (sort of). Now, purists will say that neither the Titans nor the Ravens are expansion teams, because they were actually teams that were just moved. The Titans were previously the Houston Oilers, and the Baltimore Ravens were the Cleveland Browns. And this is where the Browns/Ravens rivalry comes in.

As I understand it, in 1995, the Browns were on fire. They finished the season well, staying in the playoffs until losing in the 2nd round. The city loved them, the team was playing well, and all was rosy. Except, the owner wanted a new stadium. The city told him to kick rocks in flip flops. So...he did...by moving the team to Baltimore. After a major controversy, the team was allowed to leave, but they couldn't take the name*. They were deemed an expansion team and renamed the Ravens. During the next 3 years, the Browns didn't exist....and in the 3rd year, the Ravens won the Super Bowl. Understandably, Browns fans were pretty bitter. To switch from rooting for the Browns to the Ravens is tantamount to treason.

I have similar debates with people regarding my love of the Packers despite no longer living in Wisconsin. I constantly run into women who say that they've lived in thus-and-so place for so long that they just adopted their new city's team. OR, (worse, in my opinion) they began rooting for their husband's favorite team. Listen chicks. You wouldn't change from vodka to cognac just because you left your hometown or your husband liked it. Don't do it with your football team either. Show a little respect!




*Or the history, stats, or team colors. But they are totally winning on the colors aren't they? Black and purple? Hello, dope.

When Football is Your Fantasy

Football fantasies often involve cheerleaders, bare midriffs, jerseys, and balls . But fantasy football has nothing to do with any of that. Fantasy football is Monday Morning Quarterback meets Madden (the video game, not the coach). Fantasy football gives all of us who are glued to the TV on Sundays (and Thursdays and Mondays) the chance to build the team of our dreams and battle against the team our friends dream about. So how does it work? It's actually a lot easier than you think*.

I only have experience with Yahoo!'s Fantasy Football, but I'm told they are all basically the same. Each person is a manager (aka, a General Manager or GM) and has the opportunity to pick their team. Typically, you pick: a quarterback, a defense, a tight-end, 2 wide receivers, 2 running backs, 1 tight end, 1 flex position (which can be either a wide receiver or a running back or maybe a tight end), and a kicker. These are the positions that must be filled at all times. Then, there are 5 people on the bench. You need those folks for bye weeks, injuries, or if your first choice ends up sucking. You develop your team on draft day. Some leagues do this as a huge event -- live and lots of yelling about stealing players. Others do it by auto-draft. However you do it, the strategy and gamesmanship can start as early as the first round. So be careful who you pick!

Of course, you can't always get the team of your dreams on the first try. (What would be the fun in that?) Inevitably, one of your favorite players will go to another team. Or you'll be in a huge league and end up with all kinds of players you've never heard of. That's fine. There's always the opportunity to draft players later, and many leagues allow for trades among teams.

So, you've set your team. Scoring is then based on what happens in the actual game each week. So let's take the QB position. Say you have Drew Brees (my fantasy pick 3 years running). I score every time Brees does his job on the field. For every touchdown he throws (running or throwing), I get 6 points. For every 20 yards he runs or throws, I get 1 point. And, for interceptions, -2. If my guy Brees gets sacked, -1. Running backs, tight ends, and wide receivers all score similarly in that they receive 1 point for every reception, 6 for each touch down (receiving or rushing), and 1 point for every 10 yards rushed (or received in the case of wide receivers and tight ends). Each position has the opportunity to score based on what really happened in each player's real game. Check your league settings for the rest of the scoring scheme.

The only downside to fantasy football, as beautifully stated by a friend of mine, is that you lose your ability to remain objective about games you just shouldn't care about. Suddenly, you're sitting in front of the TV intently watching the Monday night Cardinals vs. Raiders game, because your fantasy team's final score is totally dependent on how many receptions Larry Fitzgerald has. Which is pretty unreasonable if your Packers beat the snot out of the Bears in the early game on Sunday. Silver lining? It makes going out to watch the games on Sundays WAY more interesting. Suddenly, you understand why everyone loves the game so much.

One of my greatest triumphs is when I can talk about stats and points about little known players. I was out with a great friend a few years ago. She'd asked me to come with her to the local Browns bar to watch the 2nd half of the Browns' home game against the Patriots. As a true Packer fan, I'm an NFC kinda girl, and I couldn't care less about a random interconference AFC game, but whatever, I love football and my friends. And besides, the Browns were winning! Who wouldn't want to witness this live and among their fans? At the time, Peyton Hillis was one of my running backs on my fantasy team.. He was the Browns' running back that year, and their star player. He was a fantasy sleeper -- meaning, for those of us who had him, he was likely an auto-pick -- but out of no where, he started scoring mad points. (The same thing would happen with Joique Bell of the Detroit Lions the very next year). So, I'm standing at the bar, and Peyton Hillis runs it in for a touchdown. I'm not in a Browns jersey but I'm totally screaming my head off. A guy standing next to my friend makes some snarky comment like "riiiiight...like you really the Browns." And I respond, "they're alright, but more importantly, Peyton Hillis is KILLING it for me!! He's got like 28 points today!!" At which point the guy totally high-fived me for a) knowing who Peyton Hillis was in the first place, b) choosing him for my fantasy RB, and c) playing (doing?) fantasy football. Added bonus? It always feels good when Tom Brady is losing.



*And, as an aside, it's a great way to learn more about teams and players outside of the ones you already follow.

Go For It!

Some of the most exciting moments in football happen when a team is facing a 4th down and they decide to go for it. Ask any Pats fan about the 4th and 2 play against the Colts in 2009, or any Packers fan about 4th and 26 against the Eagles in 2004 and you will be met with an audible groan. One of the fundamentals of football are the downs. So let's start with a quick definition about what they are and why we care.

Downs are essentially "chances." A team has 4 chances to move the ball 10 yards. Once a team moves the ball 10 or more yards, then they get 4 new chances to go 10 more yards. To keep track of where we are, announcers generally refer to the number of yards to go before a team will have moved the ball 10 yards. With me so far? Ok, let's try an example.

Okay, you always start with the 1st down and you always have 10 yards to go. So, the first play of any series is always 1st down and 10 yards to go -- for short: 1st and 10. So let's say, the quarterback does a quick pass to the running back and he runs 4 yards. Now, time for a little bit of math.* We had 10 yards to go, and we only went 4. So we've still got 6 yards until we've moved 10. So therefore there are 6 yards to go and we've only got 3 downs (chances) to get there. So for our second chance we have 6 yards to go. Or....you got it...2nd and 6. Now, let's say on the next play, the quarterback throws a pass to the wide receiver who is about 5 yards away. The wide receiver catches it, but is immediately tackled. Now what? Well, back to math. We had 6 yards to go, but only went 5. So 1 yard to go and 2 chances to get there. It's our 3rd shot to move 10 total yards. So it's now what? (All together now) 3rd and 1.

Now, let's get fancy. On the 3rd down, a wide receiver gets away from a receiver and hauls ass down the field about 15 yards. QB hurls the ball to the wide receiver, who catches it and runs another 10 yards before being tackled by a cornerback. Now what? We've got another chance to go, and we're 24 yards past where we needed to be. Is it 4th and -24? Of course not, that'd be silly. We made it the 10 yards, so we start over with 4 new downs to go another 10 yards. So, it's 1st and 10.

Ok, let's say the defense is really good, and has just been containing the wide receivers and stuffing the running backs. So, let's say it's 4th and 1**. If you try and fail to go that 1 yard (the whole thing people...close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades), then the other team takes over exactly where you are. That's no good. So you can either kick it away -- pinning them as close to their own end zone as possible. OR, you can try to go that 1 yard. And this is where so many cringe-worthy or awesomesauce moments are born. Take this, for example:



In this video, we see the Packers stop the Steelers at 4th and 2...in the final meaningful play of the Super Bowl. With this stop, the Packers fans are celebrating and Steelers fans are crying.

Tomorrow, I head out for a re-match of the Fail Mary. Sure, it's a pre-season game, but it's going to be awesome! Next time you'll see me, I'll be the one with the heels on the gridiron. Love it!

******************UPDATE*******************

Someone pointed out that field position is an important part of the decision of whether to go for it or not. This is true. Certainly when a team is in the red zone, the odds of going for it on 4th down go up. At that point, they are just sooooo close to the end zone that a team might think it's worth the risk. The farther away from the goal line, the lower those odds will get. Another factor? The time in the game. When it's the 1st quarter, the team may kick it away and rely on the defense to get the ball back. 4th quarter and last few minutes of the game? Well, that's how you end up with videos such as the one above. It's either go for it, or feel like you didn't give it your all and try to win the game. Lastly, the skill of the players is a big part of the decision. If you've got one of the top running backs in the league (Adrian Peterson -- Vikings; Brandon Jacobs -- Giants; Ray Rice -- Ravens; and so on) you're more liable to rely on him to get you those last few feet.

There are stats floating around the internet that say teams should go for it more often than they do. The pressure certainly makes the game more exciting. Wonder if we'll be seeing a lot of teams trying to turn that 4th down into a 1st down? We'll see!



*I know, I know. I was also told there'd be no math. But you can handle this, I promise.

**Yes, exactly. We've gone 9 yards in the first 3 chances.

Pre-Season

Well, it's pre-season. That special time of year when teams test out their first-round draft picks, players feel out the extent of their injuries, and teams everywhere convince themselves that *this* is the year. It's also the time when the anticipation of football season begins to build. Pre-season is to football what August 1st is to the first day of school. I find myself mourning the end of summer but eagerly awaiting the first play of the first game.

Just like going to school, each football season I learn something new about the game. This year, my goal is to once and for all understand a read-option play. I've got the gist -- and I know that the Packers defense have yet to really be able to stop it -- but I want to be able to explain it to other people.

So, how did I get to where I am? Well, first, let me tell you how it didn't happen. Daddy wasn't a coach -- this was not a real life Remember the Titans, ok? Also, I am not a reporter for ESPN. (These are real questions I've been asked). Finally, I am not, nor have I ever been, a jersey chaser.* When I decided to learn the game, the way I went about it was to watch the game. Every Sunday after church, I'd turn on the game. I quickly figured out that Madden rarely actually talked about the game. To be fair, it is difficult to discuss the game when your lips have been sewn to Brett Favre's ass. When he could tear himself away from his bro-crush on Favre, he'd generally regale Al Michaels with tales of his tour bus and the year's turducken.** All of this was incredibly interesting (and by that I mean, irrelevant and useless), so I needed to find a different way. Lightbulb moment, I figured it out -- I would turn on the TV with the sound off and turn to the Packers Radio Network and listen to Jim Irwin and Max McGee (and later, Wayne Larrivee and Larry McCarren) explain the action in painstaking detail. Those details, helped me figure out what was really happening in the game. And you know what? The more I understood it, the more awesome it got.

Presumably, if you're reading this blog, you already have a basic understanding of the game. You know the difference between offense and defense, and you get the scoring. So I won't bore you with the easy stuff. Instead, when I'm not complaining or celebrating about particular games or plays, I'll spend a little time explaining more complicated things. (Like seriously, what IS a screen pass?!!? And why do I care what a YAC stat is?).

Any special requests? Drop a shout out in the comments.

It's almost time!!


*Jersey chasers: ho's that chase professional ball players so that they can trick him into marriage and never have to work again; at least until they become eligible to be a character on Has-Been TV. See: Basketball Wives, or Love and Basketball.

**The man is a legend but thank goodness he retired. Am I right?

Back That Pass Up -- An Introduction

Last week, I was lucky enough to be chosen to participate in a study, learning about how women interact with football. This led to a desire to create a blog for women...because that's the natural progression of things. Uh huh. Right.

So first, a little about me. I've been watching football since I was a cheerleader in high school. It all started with the cheerleading captain calling out:

First and ten!
Do it again!
Go Raiders Go!
*herky*

And me noticing that it was 3rd and 7 (for the other team). I was fairly certain that 1st and 10 was different than 3rd and 7...but I wasn't entirely certain how. I was absolutely certain that we shouldn't be cheering for the other team to get 1st and 10. Because I assumed that it didn't mean be the first to lose 10 points. But what did it mean? Well, I was a pretty clever gal in high school, and I decided I could figure it out. Because how hard could it be? Seriously. No one's ever accused the jocks of being rocket scientists, right?

Fast forward a few (*ahem*, yes, a few) years later, and here I am. On any given Sunday during football season, you'll catch me on the couch or at a bar watching the game and checking my fantasy football stats. I'm screaming at the wide receiver for dropped passes, and wondering out loud if the defensive coordinator is ever going to successfully call a 3rd down conversion. And it's a pretty great way to spend my nipples-freezing-off winters in the cold Midwest. I've also discovered that there are a ton of women who, like me, can succinctly tell you the difference between a quarterback and a corner back. And we don't watch just to function as our man's arm candy.* What I've noticed, however, is that we don't get to hang with the fellas...the "true sports fans" (eyeroll). No, we're mostly pushed to the corner. Like the kids to the card table on Thanksgiving. That is, unless the girl is a total tomboy, dressed in Tims and flannel. Then she's, you know, "one of the guys". Pfft.

Well, eff that noise. A girl can be a girl and still watch the game. I can talk about which receivers have the best YAC stats while I'm rocking my leopard print stilettos and swinging my Kate Spade bag. And I am here to speak for all of us. Ladies? It's time to stand up. To boldly discuss defensive strategy, the best response to a read-option play, QBs who scramble out of the pocket, shoes, mixing prints, and chocolate martinis in the same breath. And for f**k's sake...we don't give a shitake mushroom what the hell Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari had for dinner last night. We DO care that he threw an interception on the first play of the pre-season game last night...and yo, is Tim Tebow really going to be running routes now? REALLY?!

My name is pheebee...let's get to the grid iron.